


After the rain

by aries_taurus



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s05e07 Ina Paha (If Perhaps), Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, another one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-27 04:32:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2679224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aries_taurus/pseuds/aries_taurus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Grief is the last act of love we have to give to those we loved. Where there is deep grief, there was great love...</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Dunno who said it, but it made me write another 5.07 tag...</p>
            </blockquote>





	After the rain

**Author's Note:**

> This is yet another 5.07 tag, Steve is grieving in this one, also dealing somewhat with Catherine not coming back so I guess that's a spoiler for 5.08 in that sense.
> 
> Wrote it one shot, no beta so forgive the mistakes.

* * *

He wakes up with a gasp, his father’s arms around him dissipating like mist in the early dawn’s heating sun.

He sits up on the edge of the bed and stares out the window, out to the ocean just beginning to glint with the light as the sun rises over Diamond Head.

He swallows hard but the lump in his throat and the wetness in his eyes remain.

It’s been two weeks.

Two weeks.

Four years, really but it feels like only weeks.

Hell, right now, it feels like five seconds ago and the grief squeezing his heart makes the air stall in his lungs.

He screws his eyes shut and two fat tears roll down his cheeks before he crushes them under the heels of his palms.

God, he misses Catherine too, right now. Misses her arms around him, her warmth, her presence. He misses… He misses being loved, he suddenly realises and fuck if that doesn’t make the tears come faster and thicker.

It’s been two weeks. It can’t be the drugs anymore. He wonders if this is what loosing one’s mind feels like, if this is… depression, PTSD, whatever. He just knows he doesn’t recognise himself and for the love of all that’s holy, he can’t stop _crying_.

The first sob he tries to hold in but it just hurts, deep in his chest.

The others he lets go.

He just feels so damn _alone_.

The sky’s still more pink than blue when the tears run their course.

His head aches, his nose is clogged up and his throat feels raw but he feels calmer, if not steadier.

It’s barely past six but the solitude is becoming unbearable. He grabs his phone and pushes the buttons by pure muscle memory.

“’hlo?”

“Danny.”

“Steve? You okay?” The voice transforms from sleepy to alert and full of concern. It makes him feel like a bigger ass.

For a second, he’s frozen, can’t speak.

“Steve? You there? Hey, you okay?”

He doesn’t mean to say it but it comes out, unsteady and cracking. “No.”

“Fifteen minutes and I’m there.”

“Okay.”

He loses more time to the tears and he misses the car pulling in the driveway and the door opening. It’s the voices downstairs that register; Danny’s. Grace’s.

He wants this to stop but for some reason it won’t. Doesn’t want Grace to see him like this.

But it’s just Danny who walks in, rumpled and barely awake, but crouching in front of him.

“Babe? What’s going on?”

Steve just shakes his head, face crumpling again, new tears flowing at the _thought_ of the dream, of having to say it, for it’s like going through the loss all over again.

“You’re all right, babe. You’re okay. It’s okay to cry, huh? You know that right?” Danny says as he stands just long enough to sit by his side and drape his arm across Steve’s shoulders, squeezing gently.

Steve nods and rubs his nose, resisting the urge to just lean his head against Danny’s shoulder.

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” Danny says, over and over again and suddenly, the words tumble out of his mouth.

“I dreamt about him. I woke up… with his arms ‘round me. And he’s just… gone.”

“I know it hurts babe. It’s okay.”

“And… I woke up alone and Cath’s gone too and… I felt so… I just… couldn’t take it.”

“It’s okay. I’m glad you called. I’m here. You’re not alone, okay? You’re not.”

“Why the hell does this hurt so damed much? He’s been dead four years!” Steve maybe yells.

“You’re grieving. You haven’t had space or time for it before, with Wo Fat and all the shit that came with. Now, what happened brought it back to the surface and it caught up to you. Don’t worry about it. It’s okay. It’s normal. You loved him and that’s why it hurts.”

He wants to say something but there are just more tears.

“Grief is the last act of love we have to give to those we loved. Where there is deep grief, there was great love,” Danny says. “So don’t be ashamed of your grief, Steve. It’s a measure of love.”

He doesn’t know how long they sit there but eventually, he runs out of tears. He wipes his face with his hands and his arms when it isn’t enough. Danny stands and stretches.

“Go have a shower. I’ll go check on Grace and then I’ll wash up, take you both out to breakfast.”

“Thanks, Danny,” he says, looking at the ocean. “I know you’re grieving too. For your brother.”

Danny sighs and he can see him shake his head. “No. I’m not there yet. You know me. I’m still stuck at the anger stage.”

“You’re… a good friend. The best.”

“Nah, it’s just the hours I spent in therapy after Rachel I’m putting to good use,” he says, a bit flip, a bit serious and a bit joking.

It manages to make Steve chuckle.

“Go, get cleaned up. I promised my baby waffles after I dragged her out of bed at the crack of dawn on a Saturday to go rescue Uncle Steve.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going.”

Danny disappears downstairs and he hears more voices. He stands and stares out at the ocean, at that view he missed, desperately wants to share with his dad, one last time.

“I love you, Dad. I miss you. I always will.”

The sun’s high over the water when the trio heads out for breakfast.

Maybe it shines a little brighter inside Steve’s heart too. He knows there might be clouds again but the sun always comes after the rain.

Fin

**Author's Note:**

> I'm dealing with a lot of stuff, again, at the moment. I'm on sick leave again, this time due to a major depression because of all of the rest of the stuff. So I'm asking to be kind and patient with concrit as I'm not up to a lot these days.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


End file.
